i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
a search helicopter?!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
