Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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