he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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