No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
