Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
