Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
