Where did you get a picture of my penis
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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