Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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