I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
