it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
