Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
