dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
