I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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