walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
