I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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