My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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