I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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