Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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