I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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