So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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