No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
