Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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