so explain again why im purple
no
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
