i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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