I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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