I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
