we have pet lesbian snakes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
