It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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