Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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