I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
