I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
