Will you blow on my dice?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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