i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You are a genius and a whore.
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