Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
