but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
