My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
