I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we should paint friendship bongs
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
