Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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