East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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