I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
