I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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