And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
