You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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