Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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