Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
