we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
