Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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