Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
