I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
