so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
