dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
