I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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