i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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