I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you win again, gameday.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
COCAINE IS GR8
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you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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