Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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