After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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