walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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