i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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