The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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