I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
