Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
