Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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