his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
third nipple confirmed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
