Define "chronic" masturbator.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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